Looking back, straight ahead, and toward the future

I miss you.
I miss all of our inside jokes and how we finished each other's sentences, but you never cared as much for our friendship as I did. I miss just being around you and seeing how you lived your life. At least I knew you; most kids don't get that much. I miss the adventures we would have together and how crazy they seemed. In the end, it was too much crazy and I couldn't handle it anymore. I miss playing video games with you until the wee hours of the morning and taking so many pictures together. I don't miss our arguments and how they never got settled. I miss being the one person that understood you the best, which is why you tried to hide from me. I eventually grew tired of hide-and-seek. I miss hanging out at your house and being silly. It really saddened me to not be invited to your wedding, but you'll probably never know that. I miss snaps with the four of us. I miss our hall from that year. I miss the tolerance I used to have. I miss my crazy life when I didn't believe my own stories coming out of my mouth. I miss you and your colorful sayings. Every time I say one, I think of you. I miss hanging out with you guys...I wish I had more time and thought about you more. I miss you and your intelligence, wit, and outlook on life. We need to talk more. I miss you probably most of all, but I know it's better you live elsewhere now. I miss you, pets of my past. I loved you all.


I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that my degree is in a different field than yours and I still know a heckuva lot about yours. I never said I was better than you, though. I'm sorry that I'm not around as much as I used to be. Some things have changed and I can't change them back. And I don't want to. I'm sorry that our lives even crossed paths. Things would have been so much more filled with joy and simplicity if they hadn't. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you when you had your baby. I really wish I could have been. I'm sorry I wasn't called to be a missionary. I'm sorry I went through multiple church splits and I haven't gotten my courage up to jump into another one, just to crash into the same fate. Maybe we could still be friends if I did. I'm sorry my husband and I are not on the same course as you and your spouse, but I don't see why that means we can't be close. I'm sorry that I don't believe in gay marriage; people who do seem to catch no slack for their beliefs--I don't understand why I catch it for my beliefs. I'm sorry you had cancer, but I don't think that gives you the right to be a jerk to everyone now. I'm sorry that I don't do things the way you do. I'm sorry I didn't go on to get my master's degree, but I lost my way and didn't know where to go from there (still don't). I had also had too much school and needed a huge break. I'm sorry about our lost friendship. I know we could have been best friends under different circumstances. I'm sorry I ended our friendship, but I saw the path it was taking and I didn't want to end up on that dead end.


Thank you.
Thank you to my dogs for always be so excited to see me and love me unconditionally. Thank you to Jon and I's parents for always being there for us and helping us out. Thank you siblings, for helping shape us into who we are today. Thank you to everyone who came to our wedding to show your support for us (or even if you came for free food...)...that meant the world to us. Thank you, extended family, for being the limbs in our family trees showing variety and originality. Thank you for my job. Without it, I would be in a world of hurt. Thank you, Facebook. Through the snooping and stalking, you keep my mind sharp and always wishing to push further. Thank you, Jon. We're not the greatest couple to walk the earth, but I know you will never give up on me and I will never give up on you. I love you for all the big things, medium-sized things, little things, and things you did when you didn't know anyone was watching. You are one of few constants in my life.

-Mrs. Kreilaus

Recent Life

As usual, it's been awhile. I had some time on my hands and after seeing the last post was in April, I figured enough small events have passed that I can update. My friend Lyndsey had her baby on May 16th (a day before her own birthday!) and my friend Sony had her baby on June 30th (many days before her own birthday...haha). I still have yet to meet either of them, but they are both cute and we'll meet soon. I'm missing my friend Sarah's baby shower today (due October 13th...my stepdad's birthday!) and I'm sad about that. Lyndsey's little sister is officially engaged and getting married in August...in Vegas! And I guess Carrie Underwood is getting married today, too. (I only say that because people I went to church with actually grew up with her so I was kinda wondering if they are going to her wedding. Oh, and when my brother was born, Mom shared the room with Carrie Underwood's mom and Carrie...small world.) A friend from years ago is also getting married today. Joe and Miranda (Jon's brother and his wife) are in town so we are seeing them every few days and will tonight, too. My cousin Mallory's wedding is coming up soon in October. We're fast approaching my first year anniversary of Jon and I's wedding, my phone, and my job (Pretty handy to cover so many milestones at once. ;^P). Fourth of July came and went and the weather lately has been crazy weird. My dogs learned the difference between a 2 yr old toddler and everyone else they've ever come in contact with. I met my dad's new girlfriend and my brother's new(ish) girlfriend. I write letters to my nephew and niece when I get the chance (and when I get letters from them). I've tried and am okay with asparagus, beets, and some other "odd" vegetables that I never thought I'd like. My husband and I still tell each other that we love each other at least 20 times a day. I've made a new resolution at work and I'm trying to stick to it. I don't tend to sleep well at night. I tear up when I see a stray dog out in the country. I teared up yesterday after having to pass up corgies for sale. But then I felt better because I'd rather rescue a dog without a home than buy a puppy that was bred. That stupid Humane Animals Shelter commercial or whatever it's for always makes me change the channel and if I don't catch it in time, I tear up. My husband puts up with me watching Ghost Whisperer so he can watch Criminal Minds (which I put up with). My car now has over 100,000 miles on it, which makes me sad, but you can't tell by the way she runs. Yesterday, I found a caterpillar and my husband and I spent 10 minutes or more playing with it before releasing it back into the "wild".
These are the things that go through my mind and they things that have happened semi-recently. I don't know what else to say. There's a little glimpse into my life and my head.

-Mrs. Kreilaus

I'm boring.

Through a talk with my BFF at the other sto', I discovered that I am boring. And I'm okay with that. There is no need to talk to me every few days or even every few weeks sometimes because I always do the same things. I realized that I don't talk to my friends and family on the phone very often because I really don't feel like I have anything to say. I go to work Monday through Friday, come home, eat, take care of my dogs, maybe watch a little TV or play fake poker on my phone, then I go to bed. On Saturdays and Sundays I clean and relax. I don't think giving my dogs a bath is newsworthy. I REALLY don't think work drama is newsworthy unless you know the parties involved...and even THEN it sometimes isn't even newsworthy. Yes, I have the days where I think the house is on fire, and the days where a teacher has to be taken out by ambulance, and the days where I have to call the police because a disgruntled previous employee goes on a rampage, but those are FEW and FAR between. Those are newsworthy. And if they involve you, you will hear about them. I'm not 104 and don't know what a cell phone is. I just don't see where somebody would want me to call them and tell them that work sucked/was okay today and what I had for dinner. If I'm not married to you, chances are I don't want you to call me and tell me that, either. And I don't mean that to be rude, but I guess there's not really another way to say it. I'm going to tell myself that since I'm not directly saying that to someone, then it's not rude.

I feel badly about not updating this more often, but once again...I'm boring. I thought at least this time I would write a post explaining why I don't update very often. That and I never have comments so I never even know if anybody reads this stuff. I've heard about a few people reading it, but I guess it doesn't really even matter. It's kinda therapeutic for me to write my thoughts and feeling out. Well, at least the ones that are internet-appropriate. :^P Goodnight.

-Mrs. Kreilaus

The Big Deleted Post

You know, I had this big long post all typed out, but then I realized it was all complaining and moaning. I think I'm going to bottle that in for myself (or maybe write it in a document on my computer) and keep the world a slightly better place.

I do want to tell everybody to keep us in your thoughts because we have reached our limits in some respects and some thing(s) is/are gonna have to change. So you don't worry, Jon and I are still crazy about each other and there are no babies in the picture...2 things you don't have to wonder about.

Thanks!!!

-Mrs. Kreilaus

Happy Phauxentine's Day!

One year ago today (Yes, Valentine's Day...oh the irony...), Phaux came into our lives! My gosh has it been hard work raising that menace, but he is really coming around! It's nice to know that we hit the big 0-1 (ha) and we have the beginning puppy stages behind us. He was ADORABLE to look at, but wow he was a terror in every other respect! Anyway, enjoy his adorableness:

CUTE!


Happy Valentine's Day to all who actually celebrate it!


-Mrs. Kreilaus